tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20670311463500120982024-03-05T01:05:29.276-05:00Nurture Calls~ a memoir of motherhood and lifeNurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-53614182339323367862021-03-15T23:40:00.001-04:002021-03-16T00:23:20.540-04:00Their answers might surprise youToday was very difficult at work. I found myself in an ethical dilemma, that has posed a very challenging reality. I have a decision to make. Remaining ethical and doing the right thing is always a driving force. I drove away in tears, late to pick up my kids. <div><br></div><div>As tears streamed down my face, I was out of solutions - out of hope. Prior to pulling into the drive of school I tried to pull it together. </div><div>"You're late Mom." </div><div>"I know bud, I'm sorry." </div><div>I turn to him and he catches my eyes. </div><div>"Why are you crying?" he asks. </div><div>"Well...it was a rough day at work."</div><div><br></div><div>As we drove, I tried so hard to turn my attention to hearing the stories of their day - the struggles they had. Cybie had a really hard time with a "dare" that was being asked of her. She felt embarrassed to tell about it. I validated her, expressed my support and encouraged her. </div><div><br></div><div>When we got home I had to make an important work call so I remained in the car. The kids were prompted with a show and the Wii. I proceeded with my call. An hour later I come in the house - still feeling defeated - exhausted. I have no idea what I will do for dinner. An earlier conversation with a coworker reminded me of the simple pleasure of <i>cereal</i>. A simple everyday food item in many homes, but for us, it's a luxury. We do not often indulge in the sugary kinds. I texted Ben, "hey on your way home can you grab cereal for dinner tonight?" He was shocked. He called to clarify and ask what kind. "Any sugary kinds you see that are good. All the fun ones." He thought I had gone mad. </div><div><br></div><div>I offered the kids a sprite - a whole one for each (I never do that). I cracked a beer, made a platter of carrots, cheese, raddish and olives...sat down next to them and enjoyed. Ben walks in, arms full to the top of his head. Every sugary kind he could hold. "Dinner is here!" I shout. The kids nearly exploded with excitement. They poured at their hearts content. It was a very happy moment together. "This is like the best day ever!" someone shouted. It prompted me to ask the question. </div><div><br></div><div>"That's a great idea, lets go around and share what the 'best day ever' would look like to you, and why. </div><div>"Ooh I'll go first," Liam jumps at the opportunity. "The birth of my first child."</div><div>"Whoa bud, thats deep."</div><div>Ben supported this thought, "I can agree Liam, it was the best day ever when you were born!" We smiled.</div><div>Everett shares "To be Jesus or God." </div><div>Ben and I look at each other, then to Everett, "Wow Ev, that's really profound. </div><div>A moment of silence.</div><div>Adelle chimes in, "the day I get a phone and a horse." We all laughed at how accurate that was for her. </div><div>Last but not least, Cybie responds, "I'd like a horse, and my ears pierced, and to be a doctor ...a veterinarian, and a hairstylist and fashion...oh and..." It went on for a while. </div><div><br></div><div>Then Everett begins to share what he's learning in school. "Do you know that when Judas betrayed Jesus, two days later men came for him...they tied his wrists with a rope, not with handcuffs, but with a rope. The tighter they tied it meant the worse the sin. They tied them so tight that Jesus' blood started dripping down."</div><div>Ben responds " Dang Everett, of all the times I've heard this story, I've never quite heard it like that - you just brought to life something I've heard all my life through church. That was powerful." </div><div>Then Cybil asks "Can I pray? </div><div>"Oh absolutely, thank you!" I respond. </div><div>We all get quiet. "</div><div>"Dear Jesus, thank you for Jesus and the cross. . ." She proceeded with the sweetest prayer. Suddenly I found myself one in Spirit with my sweet little family. All that mattered was this precious moment. Tears started streaming down my face. "Amen," she finished. "Amen," we all say. </div><div><br></div><div>It is really hard to transition from a day of work to focus on family. Especially today. I didn't think I'd be able to do it. Somehow I allowed myself to not be ok, and to provide an opportunity to enjoy the moment anyway. For us it was beer, pop and cereal for the win, which followed by all of us piling in my bed for a moment of "The Croods" (if you don't know what that is look it up on Netflix. 😁)</div><div><br></div><div>I cannot change what happened today, and it may go without being resolved. I guess the silver lining in this is had I not been in a place of defeat, I wouldn't have had to let go, to find peace and joy in the moment. For that, I am grateful. </div><div><br></div><div>"Jesus, forgive me for not going to you <i>first</i> to fight my battles. Thank you for using my children to bring me back to you. I pray for strength, peace and wisdom as I navigate these challenges. May you go before me. May you guide me with when to speak, when to stand up, when to stay down and what needs to happen in order to move forward. Amen."</div>Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-20278618073277102802021-02-10T01:22:00.008-05:002021-02-10T09:00:54.869-05:00Where is my Anchor?<p><br /></p><p>I can see God in all situations,</p><p>But 2020 was an ungodly hour.</p><p>We stripped community from society</p><p>Denied touch the real power </p><p>To heal a broken heart</p><p>And ease a great sorrow</p><p><br /></p><p>Hate took over. . .</p><p>We carry on unnaturally</p><p><br /></p><p>Where is my Anchor? </p><div><br /></div><div>I want to cross check</div><div><br /></div><div>But do not trust what I know</div><p>Knowledge has the power </p><p>To corrupt and justify</p><p>Irrational reasoning </p><p>With fears that multiply</p><p><br /></p><p>Tossed to and fro </p><p>Amidst a sea of opportunity</p><div><div>I get wrapped up </div><div><br /></div><div>In a world of false security</div><p>Excusing idiocracy</p><p>To be exempt from scrutiny</p><p><br /></p><p>Like a ship lost at sea</p><p>I have lost my way.</p><p>Pulled in every direction</p><p>I am desperate to stay </p><p>Strong - I will stay strong</p><p>No matter how much I want to cave</p></div><p><br /></p><p>Where is my Anchor?</p><p><br /></p><p>Where do I go from here!? </p><p>There is no clear direction </p><p>Of where I want me to be</p><p>I never fully know </p><p>When to let go or when to press in</p><p>What lures me, though, is unmistakably Him.</p><p><br /></p><p>God above, if you hear me</p><p>Please make yourself known!</p><p>I am reminded to pray </p><p>When I cannot cope</p><p>But please God, please! </p><p>Help me to see!</p><p>I'm running on fumes of grace. . .</p><p>Running out of hope.</p><p><br /></p><p>Whether my journey will find its way again,</p><p>Only You know. <br /><br />In the meantime, I wait</p><p>Not sure of tomorrow</p><p>But trust that today</p><p>You will have me covered.</p><p><br /></p><p>\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\</p><p><br /></p><p>Let Him guide. Let Him heal. Let Him teach. Let Him love. Let him move. </p><p>Dare to believe. Dare to trust. Dare to see. Dare to dream. Dare to learn. Dare to change. . .</p><p><br /></p><p>Goodness will have the last say.</p><p><br /></p><p><!--EndFragment--></p><div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville";">© <span style="color: black;"> </span>2021 Kaley Kiewiet<o:p></o:p></span><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: x-small;">All rights reserved</span></div></div>Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-80420661310734714322019-10-02T09:40:00.001-04:002020-10-27T21:11:28.794-04:00Longterm yearning<br />
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<i>Mental Health</i>. It's all the buzz and it is a BIG issue. We live in a day where information has no holes. It's impossible to find nothing on just about anything. We are never fully satisfied because we have learned that what we do not yet know holds the power to change reality. So we keep on searching.<br />
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Unfortunately, I am not convinced that drawing awareness is helping. I can't help but wonder if the solution for mental health is something that culture is not willing to see or change. <br />
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Our minds have far surpassed our physical abilities and have limited us from sustaining life on earth (both figuratively and literally). We all know too much.<br />
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With a plethora of information at our finger tips, confusion is nevermore substantiated. Conflicting opinions everywhere we turn...we just keep searching...<br />
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I continually have more questions than I find answers to. I desire a lifestyle that is far from what I am living, a mindset that seems impossible to achieve, and happiness that so easily escapes me because <i>I think way too damn much</i>.<br />
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To fight against confusion we strive for more knowledge, more understanding, to explain what is not yet clear (or we pray until we are blue in the face...it's all the same). Naturally, we fantasize about what life could be. We get caught up in things we cannot fix, people we cannot change, and a life we cannot live.<br />
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Ever wonder why people in third world countries seem so much happier? We look on people with less and feel remorse. Meanwhile, those of us with more (you and me) over complicate things because we have the opportunity to do so. It is a sickness that drives us with an insatiable appetite to understand life differently than what it has proven to be.<br />
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Those of us with more, think that offering more to people with less, will somehow lessen their suffering. It won't. In fact, the opposite is true. Simply seeing the good in people <i>where they are, </i>rather than where they could be, promotes real power. It is like plugging in a lamp in the nearest dark corner. Why aim so far when a power source so close?<br />
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Opportunity can be misleading. It promises something greater but is not necessarily greener. When we turn our sight to a reality that is too far out of reach, we cheat ourselves (and others) from simply making the most out of what we have. Longterm yearning is a mental disaster that will not be resolved until we embrace what we have, where we are, and stop searching.<br />
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God help us. We all know too much and need You less.<br />
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#nurturecalls<br />
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<br />Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-39851623401522978822019-05-22T05:26:00.002-04:002019-10-02T09:41:03.260-04:00WaitingWaiting is not my strong suit. I woke early to spend time with the Big Guy. So glad I did. I literally felt my spirit rise up. I am reminded that no matter how much I try to control things of life, God's plan is rarely on my radar. I look through an external lens to make sense of what I cannot see. Only what I cannot see will never be seen through this lens. When I let go, I am given the chance to see what God can do - It is, and always has been, better than what I can do. Deep down, I know this - but it is in "knowing" that I fail to seek Him. Knowledge often gets in the way of hearing from a Savior. ❤ #nurturecalls<br />
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Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-62652763169859838322019-01-02T14:35:00.000-05:002019-04-09T10:05:04.499-04:00A Silent Birth<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Recently, I had the honor of supporting a Mother and Father who delivered their stillborn baby. While heartbreaking, I find it extremely special to be trusted in such an intimately devastating setting like this. I was their birth support for their now 3-year-old daughter and their 1 1/2-year-old son. We very much looked forward to their third, anticipating sometime in May. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">They decided to be surprised by the sex. J</span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 16.6667px;">ust two days prior to finding out that they had lost their baby, an ultrasound showed a healthy, active baby.</span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 16.6667px;"> As Mom felt no movement over the next two days, the</span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"> doctor urged her to come in. Her greatest fear became a reality. </span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 16.6667px;">Nothing could prepare them for this devastating surprise.</span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 16.6667px;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Twenty-seven hours by her side as she endured the most incredible pain. Just over 20 weeks old, they later discovered that their sweet baby was in fact, a son.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Images of this experience still shake me today. The Mother was incredibly brave and broken. She chose to be fully present through labor and delivery, and both her and her husband held their son all through the night. It was incredibly selfless, heartbreaking. . .beautiful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">The Father was also brave. He supported his wife in a tender way, while allowing himself to break. An image of unity so incredibly bound, as they broke over their stillborn baby. The three of us in the room that day have a stronger bond than I will ever be able to describe. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">You cannot walk from this standing tall. You cannot hide grief when it grips you this well. And so, I wrote this yesterday, and shared it today at their sons gravesite with all those present. Grief from a Mother's perspective...</span><br />
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<h4>
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;">© </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;"> </span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;">2019 Kaley Kiewiet. </span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;">All rights reserved.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><u>A Silent Birth</u><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
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</span>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Deeply, I wanted you<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Bravely, I fought<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Trusting to be with you<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;">
</span>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Instead, I’m at loss.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Gratefully, I carried you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Painfully, delivered you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Heartbreakingly lost you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Into the hands of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">You knew the sound of my voice<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">The steady rhythm of our choice<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">To love and keep you well, my dear<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">For all the days you had numbered here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Not one. Not even one moment with me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Instead, your first breath was eternity<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I held you close, though cold and frail<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">You were mine to love. You were mine to care<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Silence never hurt so bad<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">It pains me to wake with empty hands<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">My life is less without you here<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But I know your life is better – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">free</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Why did you have to go so soon?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">And leave me with an empty womb<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">The only hope I have today<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Is that I might see you again one day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Your kicks, they reminded me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Just how wondrous motherhood can be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Your heartbeat, a lifeline of mine<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">It moved me to tears every time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">If ever I have doubted a God above<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">A headship, or a higher power<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times; font-size: medium;">
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I know now that one must exist<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">They are blessed to have you - to hug and to kiss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Your sister, will never know you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Your brother, would have adored you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Your Father, dreams of raising you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Your Mother, aches to hold you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Your birth planted a seed of grace</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">To face this nightmare I will replay<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Over and over again in my head<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Trying to make sense of this brutal end.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Death’s grip was stronger than my desire to keep you</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Helpless, I had to succumb.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">It angers me that God did not leave you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Here with me. He knows I adore you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">The plans we’ve made</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">The trips we’d take<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Walking to and from the lake<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Have all gone up in a raging fire<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">All but a shattered dream…</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Darkness has taken over now</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Joy, but a fading memory<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But not forever as you’ll see<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Love will grow inside of me</span><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I may have lost my heart to death<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But this is where death loses depth:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Heaven gained an angel, soft<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Sadness weaved our hearts, strong<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Mercy, opened my eyes to see<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Greatness in people, greatness in me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Gratitude, will overtake<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">My life is rich in spite of heartache.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Death, you may have gripped my heart<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But you did <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> win this war<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">My son, you see, lives inside of me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">His life will be a legacy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Oliver Matthew, while we do ache<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Dreaming of a life we cannot create<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">We promise to go from here, in hope<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Love and courage will help us cope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Because of you, I was forced to look up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Humbled at the very thought<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">If a Creator does in fact exist<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">There you are, by His side, with the Highest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Enough wasted mind space on what life could be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">We choose to live <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">now</i> – intentionally<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">We choose to make the most of every day we are given<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">And trust that God’s grace will rebuild again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Until we meet again, sweet boy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I promise to be better, to seek out new joy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I promise to trade-in my tainted perspective:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">That life ends here, with endless depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">You’ve shown us how to love in pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">To journey-on in grace and heartache<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">You’ve shown us all humility<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">A need for a Savior - our desperate plea<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">I will ache for you all the days of my life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But I will not give up my desire to strive<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">It pains me, deeply, to let you go<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">But where you are, death has no hold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">This is where death will die<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Where hell loses power. No angels will cry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">In the hands of our Creator, there you will be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 12.5pt;">Forever guiding us toward eternity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 13pt;">Dear God, give me strength to live again<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 13pt;">Our son would want us to love, to forgive.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 13pt;">Sweet mercy, if in fact you are there<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 13pt;">Please fill us with your tender care.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 13pt;">We release you, son, to the hands of God<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 13pt;">Where pain has no home; where fear is not found<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 13pt;">Your reflection in, still waters and sky<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: 13pt;">Will be a guiding light of your legacy, wide.</span></i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The necklace reads "I love you to the moon and back"</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This shadow box was created by the incredible Metro Health Labor/Delivery Nursing Staff</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;">© <span style="color: black;"> </span>2019 Kaley Kiewiet<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "baskerville"; font-size: xx-small;">All rights reserved</span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-73144696327244820562018-03-06T15:14:00.004-05:002019-05-13T09:21:56.527-04:00Parenting in the midst of uncertainty<div dir="ltr">
In my own journey as a parent, I have been very out of sorts with how to move forward in a world that is quickly framing right as wrong, and wrong as right.</div>
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This was impressed on me today. I believe that God would have me understand the challenges that I face with my children in a new light. I wrote this in a way that I could read out loud. I hope this brings hope to you as it has for me:</div>
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I am equipped to handle things that others are not. God will not surround me or my children with perfect scenarios no matter how much my heart desires it. My marriage is about as good as it can be. I would like to protect it with every fiber of my being, which naturally drives me to do the same for my children. "Their lives would be better if..." "Their lives more enjoyable if..."</div>
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But every direction I turn my head I see how far <u>l</u>ife is from ideal. Understanding that God allows evil in the world, I have to believe that He is not more pleased with <i>ideal</i> than he is with <i>real</i>. He is pleased when I strive toward wholeness. I never fully arrive, so he must be satisfied with my desire to strive. I live in a fallen world and I will never reach perfection. There will always be something - someone<i> - ME - </i>in the way of becoming fully alive. It's this way on purpose. If it were any other way, I would not need a savior.</div>
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As for my children: no matter how much I want to protect them, life will inevitably show its dark side. To purpose to avoid it is to deny them of the opportunity to figure out how to stand tall in a broken world. God will uniquely draw out of them just as he did for me.</div>
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Do not resent imperfection. It is God's will on earth. In his will there has and always will be tension. Without tension, there is no redemption. Premature ache for what will be causes deeper ache than is necessary. </div>
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When joy is present, preserve it. Hang on to it for as long as you can. Too soon life will rear its ugly head of tragedy or heartbreak, and you'll need to find joy again.</div>
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Live in joy. If only in the smallest sense, fixate on it, until it becomes an increasing awareness. Find joy in scenarios that are far from what you understand or are comfortable to deal with. God trusts you with something that no one else can fulfill.</div>
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When you do not know how to respond to the challenging situations of today, keep in mind that this may be the start of a new chapter in your children. This is powerful, scary, and incredibly overwhelming, but I have to believe, just as He did for me - just as he did for us all - He will keep and protect my kids.</div>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-80755031731042323372018-01-31T09:20:00.001-05:002023-02-09T07:13:55.065-05:00America's Soul: Lost in False Empathy<div>
False empathy is rampant in America.</div>
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It esteems itself in the trenches of despair, dissension, bondage, unforgiveness; with a relentless drive to hang onto injustice more greatly than to offer mercy. </div>
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False empathy is apparent when the message of hope no longer falls from our lips.</div>
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There is no restoration in continued protest. It is a focus that stirs disaster in the human soul. Liberating marginalized, valuable people does not look like a mass of those more fortunate, rolling around, hashing, rehashing, over and over again, in the bile that holds victims captive. We continue to victimize valuable people who deserve and desire reconciliation. Stagnant on the streets of despair, with signs of personal hostility does not lift up America's soul, but rather tears it down. Justice is found in reconciliation. Reconciliation is achieved only when we <i>move forward</i>.</div>
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It is time we move forward.<br />
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Cover your eyes to false empathy. While protests continue, move silently among a broken people, looking past differences, seeking to embrace those who want to stand tall and desire to move forward. Meet people in despair, but do not stay there. Love does not stew. It gently lifts up, inspires with hope, and calls to action. </div>
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Love deep. </div>
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Inspire with hope. </div>
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Move forward. </div>
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Work hard. </div>
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#moveforward</div>
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#nurturecalls</div>
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Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-65096034601972825512017-12-11T10:30:00.000-05:002018-12-17T19:11:45.347-05:00Boundaries: Speaking Into People's Lives<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've read this years ago, but I'm reading it again for a college course. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The book called </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Boundaries</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend, is a must-read. When applied, i</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">t is life changing. Something that it provoked, and that many of us wrestle with, is how and when to speak into the lives of people we care about. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This question came to mind, and I believe it is key to understand about ourselves prior to having a conversation with someone: Is my concern </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">rooted in love or rooted in fear? And how do I know? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The answer may vary depending on the person whom concerns you. People affect us differently. Often we <i>think</i> that love is the driving force to confront, or persuade, but if we are honest, we may discover that fear is an underlying motivation. It is worth considering this every time, because fear is deceptive and destructive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When you see a family member or friend intertwined in destructive behavior or dysfunctional thought patterns, understand that their perspective of reality may be drastically different from yours. More than likely (you can count on it) this is true. What one sees as normal, another sees as abnormal. And regardless of what you think, it is only from a place of being "rooted and grounded in love" that people will respond to truth (Ephesians 3:17 NKJV). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It is not good enough if I think I am coming from a place of love. What matters is that the<i> </i>person<i> <u>knows</u></i> and <i><u>feels</u></i> my love for them first. If I am not sure, I need to ask. What a concept! I think most of us would rather not know and hope for the best, but doing so allows us to live in an illusion, not in reality. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If your relationship is strained or without joyful fellowship, you will not be well received when you correct. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Find opportunities to love <i>first</i>. Love is shown mostly simply through </span><u style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">undivided</u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> attention without offering advice to fix or improve. Listening is absolutely necessary for building relationships of trust. Being closed-off to hearing a new perspective will disqualify you from having influence. Truth is: you don't have it all figured out - and you never will. So to assume you know what's right or best, you have already made error.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Thinking Your Way Into Your Own Life - First</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What are the thoughts that continually roll around in your head? Our thoughts drive us to react or respond. Do your thoughts produce toxic emotions of fear, worry, despair - or do they produce emotions of peace, hope, joy? Reaction comes from a place of fear. Response comes from a place of peace. We all fall short in this area. What's important is that we are honest and gracious with ourselves. Time cannot be rushed in the process of self-awareness. It takes a brave person to consider openly, how your thoughts and behaviors affect people. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maybe once a day, recognize and catch your thought before responding. In that moment of waiting, give yourself a chance to respond in a way that is better for you and better for all those around you. In small successes, we will dare to do it again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Remember, that people are drawn to others who are open about their struggles more than they are drawn to those who appear to have it all together.</span>Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-80257033633532724622017-08-28T00:11:00.000-04:002017-08-28T00:40:17.408-04:00New BeginningsSometimes, uncharted waters. Sometimes, back to the grind of monotony and stress. New beginnings can be scary and challenging. The beauty of starting new is the opportunity to reflect back on what worked, what didn't, what could be better, or what should be improved (removed). In many scenarios, there is little control over how or when things start, but we certainly have control over how we carry ourselves through change.<br />
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I recently took a 'leave of absence' from a 20 month long bachelors program. Prior to that, it was 9 months of grueling stress, while keeping up with four kids, a marriage, a degree, a home, work, and all the extras that come with little people. The last four weeks allowed me time to disengage from stress, and gave me time to reflect. It gave me the chance to enjoy my kids, keep up on mundane tasks such as meals, cleaning, laundry, etc., and gave me time to enjoy family and friends. Mundane never felt so good.<br />
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What I realized is that the last 9 months was a vicious cycle of overcoming and survival. My home had spun out of control. This didn't happen, however, without great effort and success in other ways. I did very well in school, and whatever time I had left was spent conversing with my kids, cuddling over a feel-good show, books, or staying up way too late with my husband. Everything else could wait. And it did.<br />
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Thinking back on what life was like in 2016-2017, it caused very unpleasant feelings.<i> I never want to go back to that. Never again</i>. How do I go back, when the feeling of what was, and what will be, plagues with a great big pit in my stomach? How am I going to do this!? This question tossed around in my head for weeks.<br />
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After speaking with my husband about wanting to quit, he helped me see that that was not the best solution. "You're in the thick of it," he said, "half way through! There's no way you're quitting. If we need to minimize and cut back, well then, we need to do that. But you are not quitting. We'll get through this." After that, I knew I had to change my tune. All this time, I had been asking the wrong question. I could either cave to stress, quit, or <i>do something about helping me become successful</i>. For me, the answer is in: focus, schedule, simplify, prioritize. Here's where this applies to all of us:<br />
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<b>The call in your life is far greater than the complications that arise while striving toward success. Success is not written without, first, great struggle. W</b><b>hen self-doubt causes you to question yourself, look to the person(s) who knows you most, and who sees your full potential. Stay clear of people who cater to weakness.</b><br />
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I'm back at it again. The new course started Wednesday, called <i>Research Methodology and Statistics</i>. Yikes. It will be another hard nine months of pushing through adversity, toward the finish line.<br />
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Whatever it is that you're staring new: a new job, school, baby, marriage, etc. Let go of those things in life that just keep you busy, unless it is truly what you need to do now, or unless it feeds your soul.<br />
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As far as being a parent, and thinking about my kids...what do my kids need, more than anything, at this point in life? Is it sports? Extra-curricular activities? A slew of classmate birthday parties, and class events? Another reason to race the clock, get packed up, again<i>, </i>after a long, exhausting day? Or do they simply need time in the day to enjoy a moment that is unscheduled? A moment to s<i>mile and be well</i>. Yes, I'm sure that's it.<br />
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As parents, we shouldn't have to force passion into our children. We often fill up their days, so full, in order to see that they are well-rounded, amazing, "best of the best," and good at everything, but there are two problems with this: first of all, no one is good at everything, and second of all, when we fill up their lives, they don't have a chance to find passion for themselves. <br />
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Life is full. Think about what you need <u>now</u> and through the next year<i>. </i>It's easy to focus so much on the future, that we lose the importance of today.<br />
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Prayer:<br />
God, be with us as we embark on new beginnings in our lives. We need you to guide and steer our choices. We need strength to get through the tough stuff, resilience to keep fighting the good fight, and continued support and affirmation from the right kind of people. If at any point, something has to give, please kindly and clearly bring this to our attention. Sometimes, we come to a decision that is not in our best interest. Trusting that you keep our best interests at heart, we humbly ask that you make clear to us what is burdensome, hindering, distracting, or keeping us from coming into our full potential. For all the good you have done, and continue to do - Thank you! In Jesus name, amen.<br />
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<i>Make time to smile and be well. 😊</i>Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-11915328540749505862017-08-19T00:19:00.001-04:002017-08-19T07:19:50.380-04:00I'm sorry, no<div dir="ltr">
An ocean of words to say at times, but no ground to lay them on.<br />
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Thoughts, dreams, and fears roll around, like a singer without a song.<br />
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The dreams I used to see grow dim, to endless possibilities.<br />
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I clench, rile, embrace, push back, to all things - full of doubt.<br />
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It's difficult, to focus on what fills me up the most.</div>
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I'm used to feeling tapped and broke, while chasing winds that trap.<br />
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Words escape me presently, though few of them remain.<br />
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Words like "minimize," "prioritize," ensue incredibly.<br />
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I will not compromise the goal, to live life fully <i>me</i>.<br />
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So letting go, while painful, bleak, is the only way I'll be:<br />
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Better. I am today, to consider a new way.<br />
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Capable. To do what's hard. It breaks, but also shapes.<br />
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Consider life with less and less. Less of everything.<br />
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Less time for good to get in the way of greater, great, best.<br />
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Less time to worry over things that may or may not be.<br />
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Less time for anything, that is not true to me.<br />
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More time to value people; value passion, talent, rest.<br />
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More time may seem impossible, when life gets full so fast.<br />
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The only way for greatness to rise up and stand a chance,<br />
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Is the moment I stand tall and say to good, "I'm sorry, no."<br />
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<i>I'm sorry, no</i>. I wont let time slip by to less important things.<br />
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My husband dreams of conversation, slow, without an end.<br />
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<i>I'm sorry, no</i>. No time for extra things, unless they're extraordinary.<br />
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My children seek my time, affection, wrapped up in books and blankies.<br />
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<i>I'm</i> <i>sorry, no</i>. World news, while you're important, my heart you do not own.<br />
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It belongs to people closest to me, who need a hand to hold.<br />
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To a world of endless options; the leech sucking lie of "more."<br />
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One thing I'll say to you, and that is, "I'm sorry, no."<br />
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#nurturecalls<br />
#imsorryno<br />
#lessismore<br />
#minimize<br />
#prioritize<br />
#standfirm<br />
#boundaries<br />
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copyright 2017</div>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-85037152575944504082017-04-12T13:10:00.001-04:002017-04-12T13:11:11.415-04:00Criticism<p dir="ltr">Sometimes you're so desperate to escape yourself, you're willing to discover new terrain, no matter how dangerous or uncertain. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Criticism, no matter how playful, if it is all you have to measure yourself by, in the end, is simply criticism. Any positivity you feel about someone, unless properly communicated, is no good to anyone. It's a pretty little present, sitting in the corner, that unless given, is worthless.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Give endlessly in affirmation. Give generously, words of hope, praise and support. People need it more than you'll ever know. Especially those closest to you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">#nurturecalls</p>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-3155917500999018722017-01-31T21:55:00.001-05:002018-12-17T19:19:03.091-05:00Heartache from a 9 year old<p dir="ltr">You came to me with a broken heart - a hopeless reality of sibling hardship. You shared that you often don't want to come home after school because it's all just too much; the fighting, the disrespect, and all the noise. Your lip quivered and your face gave way to restricted tears. It was everything in me not to fall apart, but it wasn't my turn. My heart needed to be strong so that you trusted me with yours. I sat and listened; identified with you. I told you "being the oldest is very hard." That struck a chord in you. Tears fell harder, but still restricted.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I cant even tell you how proud I am of you.  Your patience is beyond a normal 9 year old boy. You are screamed at, belittled, and shut down, minute by minute, by your sisters and brother - and sometimes by me and Dad, in effort to keep you from sharing too much, so not to make your siblings feel less smart. Its not fair. Majority of the time you handle yourself so well. But just like any human being, you can only handle so much, and then you break. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Tonight you told me the honest, harsh truth that you wish life were different; that you wish everyone would respect each other and be kind... and that you wish you didn't have to live here. </p>
<p dir="ltr">It's nothing I do not know, but hearing it is hard. Yet, Im thankful too, because no matter what you feel inside, positive or negative, I'm thankful you choose to share with me. Unfortunately I don't have all the answers on how to make it better, but I will do my best to figure it out with you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You said, "I wish I was free to live." That's a big statement.  It meant more than your words could communicate. I know what you meant, and I also did not have the words to confirm this. We prayed tonight. I asked God to fill your heart with hope. I shared that life as we know it will change, and get a bit better as siblings grow; that 4 and 2 years old are hard ages to reason with. There's a whole lot of crying and screaming that one day will turn into conversations. </p>
<p dir="ltr">You thanked me for listening and for talking with you. I forgot until that moment that that's all you needed from me - to be present and to listen to all you had to say. As a parent, I wanted to do more. I wanted to build you a separate room, where you would have the freedom to be yourself, and a place to go from all the negativity. Unfortunately, I cannot rescue you from this life. It has to run its course. Siblings do not go away and we have to find a way to make it good.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">I asked what we could do to help you feel lighter, and to help you feel happy again. You asked if I would spend time with you, and maybe a friend or two. I asked if you wanted 3 friends. You smiled and asked, "this weekend?" I said "sure, we can make that happen."</p>
<p dir="ltr">A day with friends is in your near future.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I love you son. Life is real hard sometimes, no matter what your age, and no matter the situation. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I am always here for you. Thank you for trusting me. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Mom<br>
01/31/<u>17</u></p>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-7875253282764044662015-07-17T22:30:00.001-04:002015-07-17T22:31:56.983-04:00There's no going back<p dir="ltr">"No pain no gain" took on a whole new meaning for me this month. Spent 3 weeks away from home with the kids while my husband spent some time renovating our home. There was no way he could do what he did while we lived there. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The sleepless nights, crammed in one room at my Moms with 4 little ones, at times were more than I could stand. I lived as a single Mama away from the comfort of our home for 3 long weeks. After a week, I second guessed our plan -  thought maybe it wasn't worth the sacrifice for all this. I kept saying "there's no going back." Somehow those words gave hope and sense enough to carry on with the crazy plan. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I got out of bed every morning sick with fatigue. Looked in the mirror to see a tired, weary version of myself,  and somehow purposed to make it a good day (with <i>many </i>mistakes<i> </i>along the way). All I knew or felt was the heavy burden that came with great sacrifice. I was in the trenches.  What's worse - I chose it.  What was I thinking?</p>
<p dir="ltr">It taught me a lot about myself and my kids - and about other people. It is so difficult for us to live outside of comfort.  SO difficult.  Yet in hardship, beauty is found in the most beautiful and unexplainable ways. When we are stripped of ourselves, our excuses and expectations, something great happens; self awareness. We either dodge it or face it. Man it hurts to face it. But the reward when you do; another chance to be better.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You see, I thought my leaving the home was to renew our home. Just so happens, the greatest renew and restore happened within me. </p>
<p dir="ltr">There's no going back. Thank God, cause I don't want to go back. I feel new again. Thank you "trenches" for kicking my ass. ;)</p>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-66998193386617077692015-04-14T22:57:00.001-04:002017-02-27T19:45:15.248-05:00Someday, I will know me again. <div dir="ltr">
Reality hit like a ton of bricks - again. I've been here before. Each time it's as if an epiphany I haven't known before. Teary-eyed I sit here looking around my home, and I can't seem to grab hold of purpose, strength, vision, or understanding. I pray for these things every day, but every day is operated in false sense of hope that something will change in me. </div>
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I am who I am. </div>
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I'm so busy caring and loving four beautiful children that I can't see what the person inside of me looks like anymore - outside of Mom. I would LOVE to find myself again. Different and the same in ways, but how is it possible to do anything for myself outside of caring for my children at this stage? No one talks about this stuff. Well, we do, but by default we respond to each other with the same old statements that get us through the day, but I dare say most of us feel lost at times and worry about our future as a person outside of Mom.</div>
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<i>I am a person outside of Mom</i>...but today I only see "Mom". It is both a privilege and a horror to be one. The depth of love and care for our children is often detrimental to ourselves. We can't help it. It can't be changed. We were made to love deeper and harder for our children than ourselves. That's what we do. We are Moms.</div>
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Someday I will have time for myself again. Just not now. Not tomorrow. And by time for myself, I don't mean exercise, a drink with a girlfriend, or a couple hours in a book...I make time for that. I mean TIME as in flourishing in old and new talents, experiences, dreams...that have all been put on hold in this season of mothering. </div>
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It is hard. At the end of the day we are all forced to come to grips with who we are and who we've become - some things great, some not so great. We are forced to let go of today and look ahead to tomorrow, whether our hearts and souls are ready for it. </div>
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Someday, I will know me again. </div>
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#nurturecalls</div>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-2320583354429538092015-02-17T22:03:00.001-05:002015-02-17T22:30:22.082-05:00Snapshot<p dir="ltr">A few weeks ago while reading "Motherhood Realized" (great book), I was prompted to write my own poem or thoughts to capture a "snapshot" of my current life as a mom. It was midnight, and though my soul was reeling in the depths of motherhood, I wasn't sure if any of it would make sense the next day. I didn't care. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I just read it, and to my amazement it did make some sense so I wanted to share...<br></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>"It's tension.</i><br>
<i>Both physical and emotional.</i><br>
<i>The pulling and tearing down of myself </i><br>
<i>to build and strengthen them up.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>It pains me to look around at all the clutter that is spun in every door way, walk way....all over the floor....</i><br>
<i>then I look up at his two year old face.</i><br>
<i>I am caught in the moment of his innocent state; full of life, hope, and love - adoration for me as his Mom.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>Then I'm pained again </i><br>
<i>with his reality here</i><br>
<i>that the Mom he adores  </i><br>
<i>can't quite see past the lack....</i></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>---------------------------</i></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>It's her face, nuzzled in,</i><br>
<i>sparking eyes looking up as she nurses,</i><br>
<i>nurturing me while nurturing her.</i><br>
<i>Her hand upon my chest,</i><br>
<i>soft newborn skin pressed to mine.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>In these moments the tension leaves me in the awareness of "now" and gives the tension all new meaning with purpose and value.</i></p>
<p dir="ltr"><i>The tension:</i><br>
<i>It is pride, joy, and fear of all that's to come in our beloved children.  No one loves or understands them like we do, and so this tension weighs in to both hinder and guide, so we can help our children come alive."</i><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">One day when I am far removed from this reality and ingrained in another, I will read this and be reminded. What an amazing memory!!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now I challenge you to do the same.  What is a snapshot of your current reality as a Mom (or a Dad)? It doesnt have to be poetic. Whether shared or kept close to your heart it is so good to dig deep and allow these feelings a place in the light. I'd love to read yours if you are willing to share. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. </p>
<p dir="ltr">#nurturecalls</p>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-81749828147474046972015-02-12T12:07:00.001-05:002015-02-12T12:14:36.500-05:00"I'm glad I listen to my Mom"<p dir="ltr">This will go down in history as the most difficult morning getting the kids ready and off to school. My 4 year old, Adelle, is strong as they come. Overall I am so thankful for this, but days like today I wonder if I'll ever make it being her Mom. It is so exhausting. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Since 6:30 this morning I've given her most of my attention. It's her Valentine's party today so it took a little extra time to get things ready. She refused to finish her Valentine's cards because "boys don't want princess cards" (smart girl). I suggested we write their name only on the suckers so she had something to give. At first she hated the idea, then she liked it, then she hated it... so we came back to writing them all a Valentine's card. (Mind you, we had been working on these since the beginning of the week!) At one point she started bending the cards that were already finished because she was upset. I kept reminding her that she could choose not to do them, but she might be sad if she had nothing to give at the party. It went from this to "I'm not going to the stupid valentine's party!" I thought to myself "Ok, good to know! Then let's stop wasting our freakin time!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">It's a miracle we finished them.</p>
<p dir="ltr">During her bath I asked if I could lay out her clothes on her bed (that she picked out last night). She said yes, so I did. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I went about my business catering to the other three; my nursing babe, my 2 year old in need of attention, my 7 year old in need of guidance... bags to fill, lunches to pack, snow gear!?..."omg, Everett please be gentle with the baby!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">I go to check on Adelle. She's standing there naked, upset and refusing to do anything more. Then I realize she threw all her clothes and shoes that I laid out in the mess of her bedroom! </p>
<p dir="ltr">That's it. I've had it. I'm so done I could scream!</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've been working with the kids through the "bucket system" hoping to speak in a way they can understand, so I say; "Adelle, that's it! You didn't just tip over my bucket, you kicked it across the room! I am all done trying to help. You are on your own and can figure yourself out from here." I walk out. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Holy crap, did it get worse. I sat on the couch to continue nursing the babe. Gremlin-girl had her way in that room and kept screaming "Mommy! !! Mommy!!" She came out and I told her I was no longer able to help her. "There are 3 other people who need my help, Adelle, and you continue to treat me horribly! Mommy is all done helping when you treat me like this."</p>
<p dir="ltr">There she is; hair wet, naked, and in "refusal state." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Lord have mercy.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Liam (my 7 year old) is ready to go and waiting. By the time she decides to get dressed, it was certain she would be late and Liam may not make it on time. </p>
<p dir="ltr">*deep breath</p>
<p dir="ltr">Hesitant to say anything more I dry her hair,  throw myself together, load the kids and drive off to school. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Rage inside kept me from crying my eyes out. I turned up the music full blast. It was calming. I almost couldn't hear the frustration in my mind. </p>
<p dir="ltr">As the sun shined through and the music played, the emotion lessened; enough for me to lift my eyes to the rear view mirror, where I caught Adelle's. Smiling big she says, "I'm so glad I listen to my Mom."</p>
<p dir="ltr">Of all the things I could say, I just smiled back. We continued to smile. It was like grinding my teeth not to say what was really on my mind but the reality is this: I would rather leave her with that truth, than remind her of where she fell short. </p>
<p dir="ltr">When we pulled up to the school she said, "I'm sorry I made us late for school and tipped your bucket today." </p>
<p dir="ltr">"It's ok babe. I forgive you. We all make mistakes"</p>
<p dir="ltr">Deep breathing continues. I love this girl so much it hurts. All this strength in her is really <i>very</i> good. </p>
<p dir="ltr">#nurturecalls</p>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-42132716091769735252015-01-28T20:39:00.001-05:002015-01-28T23:28:28.645-05:00Habitual at Heart<p dir="ltr">It's true. We are. All of us. Maintaining good habits and routines are already difficult to walk out for ourselves, let alone when you have 4 or more (or less) children to help guide and steer in the right way. The stresses and demands of life can suck the joy out of living.  I'm tired of being overthrown by this all too busy life. But there's no turning back. I need to figure out a way to keep living with purpose and <i>joy</i> as the backbone.  It's so easy to fall back on habitual ways of coping instead of taking charge and fighting hard.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm suffocating. Until now, I thought it was due to taking care of 4 children. . .now I've realized it's more due to my frustration with the way I parent and lack of ability to act out what I know is right. My "outs" have become self help books to strengthen myself as a parent, to figure out how to be their coach in every phase of childhood. That, or I get together with a friend over a drink and talk through the difficulty of motherhood. It's tough! 4 little people with big personalities, lots to say, and energy I would kill for.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The ages of my kids are 7, 4, 2, and 3 months. You can say I'm pretty busy. There is no break in the day. Night only leads to the morning of doing it all over again. The thought of another day is enough to dig myself in a hole sometimes.  This is the reality people! Don't try to sugar coat it. </p>
<p dir="ltr">It is the hardest job on earth. The responsibility never leaves you. It haunts you every sleeping and wakeful moment. When they are at school,  you never stop thinking about them; what are they doing? I hope they're ok. I hope they are happy. What will it be like when they come home? How do I manage and maintain their emotions when my own are enough to handle? How do I remain calm, continue to nurture, teach...meet all the different needs? They all need me at the same time - for different reasons.  It is both humbling and scary as shit. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Ahhhhhh. . . .smelling the roses. . . .which is a combination of "you're screwed, stop trying to figure it out!" and "what a wonderful blessing to have and to hold <i>children</i><i>.</i>" It truly is a blessing.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">To tell a mother to stop worrying is to tell mother nature to stop sending Spring. It is inevitable - all part of the cycle of living and loving the generation before us.....our children.  God be with us as we guide them. </p>
<p dir="ltr">It is unlike anything I ever imagined. I'm trying to break out of the habitual patterns that affirm anxiety and fear, and instead cling to truth and hope of a better day. Ive heard that <i>life is a dance</i>. Well I say, <i>life is a fight</i>! Nothing is handed to you.  Even when you're reaching for it in desperation.  It will not be handed to you. You have to fight <b>hard</b> for it.  </p>
<p dir="ltr">Well, whatever you're drinking (mines chamomile tea at the moment), <b><i>Raise</i></b><b><i> your glasses Mama's! </i></b>Here's to fighting hard! Lets beat the shit out of guilt and shame that tell us we don't measure up or are disqualified. I quite disagree. Our children need <i>US</i>. No one else. Just us. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. We are good enough. Just need a little refining from time to time. </p>
<p dir="ltr">#nurturecalls</p>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-9604403569711710282015-01-24T23:51:00.001-05:002015-01-24T23:51:51.957-05:00Nothing Else Matters<p dir="ltr">A busy mind, we are stuck with.  <br>
It takes great focus to see <i>only</i> what's present. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Care not about the next thing. <br>
Press in, to this fleeting minute.  <br>
Breathe. <br>
Enjoy. <br>
Let it last a little longer. <br>
That next thing will still be there.  <br>
This moment will soon perish. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Be present. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Just be. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Now. </p>
<p dir="ltr">B r e a t h e.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Nothing else matters. . . <br>
Nothing else matters. </p>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-19607115504840315182015-01-20T12:39:00.001-05:002015-01-20T13:05:30.427-05:00The Beautiful Balance of Relationship<p dir="ltr">I write this after an exhausting week of sickness in our home. Sick and weary Mommy and Daddy taking care of 3 sick kids and a nursing babe; whose needs have sucked us dry. We have survived a very hard week; stripped of sleep... stripped of any affirmation that would say "thank you, you are doing a good job". . .stripped of laughter and that sense of happiness...</p>
<p dir="ltr">We have survived. </p>
<p dir="ltr">In these moments,  everything seems a little darker. "Seems" is key. The truth in my mind has me weigh in on all the ways I am not wanted or that I am not good enough. In these moments, truth has to be sought outside of myself. Sometimes it comes from an encouraging friend or family member. But sometimes it doesn't come - and sometimes the darker corners of truth are highlighted when someone I love is insulting, or is simply absent on a daily basis.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It is in these moments I cling to the truth of my Creator, Who knows me inside and out, while hoping to be reminded by those I love, that I am wanted... no matter what. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I hope to be wanted in every day - when it looks messy or when nothing "special" is happening. I hope to be thought of in the mundane; when for no other reason than the thought of me, caused them to reach out.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I write, because we ALL want this.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It is so important for family to come along side each other <i>equally</i> when it's good and bad. If we give too much attention when things go wrong, or only when things go well, we make the person feel out of balance in our support. It starts to feel conditional.  Unconsciously the person ends up striving for approval in the less affirmed areas.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Relationship should be a beautiful balance adjusting to the cycle of life. It is the sun and clouds enhancing in nature what is needed to survive. Relationship is fluid. It moves with the seasons of hardship and grief and flows toward hope and happiness.   </p>
<p dir="ltr">We are all needed in our intimate circles of family and friends through every difficult, wonderful, and mundane happening. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I desire this for myself.  I desire this for you. I desire this greatest for my husband and kids. God desires it equally for all.</p>
<p dir="ltr">"God. . . </p>
<p dir="ltr">Help us to walk in balance with You and with each other.  Impress upon us the beautiful balance of relationship You created for family and friendship. What does this look like day to day for each of us? Help us to discern who's "bucket to fill". Give us strength to see outside of our own needs to make choices for the greater good. Help us tune in to the lives before us, in arms length, who need to be reminded that they are wanted. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Please speak to us.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We are listening."</p>
<p dir="ltr">#nurturecalls</p>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-63469687512161274602014-08-17T03:50:00.003-04:002019-04-09T10:27:51.861-04:00Be Fruitful - Not SelflessDang. It's been a long time since I've written. Been busy with three children and I'm 29 weeks pregnant! It is a crazy life right now. Their sweet and precious ages are often clouded by the sheer chaos of all that comes with kids; mess, noise, fighting, screaming, clutter...this summer has been a tough one. Lack of routine is probably the greatest culprit of why it has not been fun. That, and I'm pregnant. The energy I wish I had to give is not present.<br />
<br />
School starts in a couple weeks. Here we go again. Can I just say I am NOT a fan of a 3 month long summer. I don't get it. I wish like crazy our school district was year round. In our culture this long of a break does not make sense and causes more anxiety in kids and parents. Even my 6 year old says "I am not a fan of summer." At some point in childhood we grow out of this feeling, but no one says it more true than a child. Ever notice young children crave what is good for them? By this I mean routine, healthy habits, good food, etc. As we grow we learn behaviors and preferences that keep us far from reaching what's in our best interest.<br />
<br />
Giving our children the tools to live every day successfully is the greatest gift we can give. But what if we don't have all the tools? I'm learning along with them about what it means to make every day successful. I swear I get it wrong more than I get it right. It frustrates me. Here these little inquiring minds, ready and eager to learn, are restricted because of my inability to show them the way. Maybe God created us this way so we'd have to acknowledge our need for Him. It must be. I'd like to think I can do it all on my own - but I can't. I certainly need a higher power to breathe new life and peace in my weary and tired existence.<br />
<br />
How quickly I forget to be more concerned with BEING the example than setting it. It's more simple than I make it. I'm only remembering this as I write. As I look at all 3 of my kids (4 including my growing baby) I am overwhelmed with how to guide them. I think I need to focus more on myself, craving and doing what's good for me. This seems like a contradiction to motherhood - the most giving role in life - but you can only give what you put in, yes? As mothers I don't think we were designed to be as selfless as we were meant to be fruitful. Wow. That's powerful. I'll say it again...<br />
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<b>As mothers we were not designed to be selfless, we were designed to be FRUITFUL. </b><br />
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This makes living look a lot different.<br />
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I'm going to rest in this and pray for strength to do just that. I have a long way to go.Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-79638553897785774102014-01-08T14:45:00.001-05:002018-02-01T08:38:23.378-05:00At odds with mundane"Be who you want to be when no one else is around, so when they do come around you're proud of who you've become."<br />
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This came to me today as there is everything I'd rather do than the task of keeping up on my home. It's a daily struggle for me to remove that ugly, heavy feeling from the task at hand; a deep pit of contempt. How silly really. It's just a task of doing what's necessary. It shouldn't feel so hard. As a matter of fact I shouldn't <i>feel</i> anything other than a mild "eh." It's no different than having to take a shower - it simply needs to get done.<br />
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I'm a creative in nature which means I'm spontaneous and struggle to keep routine, unless of course there is something driving me to do it. Thank God for my children because they have become a driving force.<br />
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I have really good days and really bad ones. Extremism is the result of perfectionism. My husband and I laugh at each other because when we do something, it's either all the way or not at all. We are both cursed with this. It's good on one hand because we have an understanding for each other and when it's time to buckle down we do it intensely; but bad on the other because we both struggle to stop at "good enough." Imagine life in the Kiewiet home...Ha!<br />
<br />
I've been reading <i>The House That Cleans Itself</i> (if only) and it's been really good. The selling factor for me is that it's about changing your home to comply with your behavior, rather than changing your behavior to comply with your home. I also keep up with flylady.net. It's a good website to help you gain control of your home and schedule, and really annoying with all the email reminders - there's no getting away from it!! :)<br />
<br />
#nurturecalls #workinprogressNurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-76224874954211775302014-01-06T11:55:00.000-05:002014-01-06T11:55:00.808-05:00The great man next to meHe is often saddened that he cannot provide more for me. More in the sense of money, experiences. . .things. . .<div>
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What he provides for me far outweighs anything that is seen. No one gets to applaud him for it as it's done in secret, every single day. It is his time - his attentiveness to my emotional status. Each day he lays next to me, weary, yet thankful for a full day of work and little play. If I'm sad or excited about something he will sit, listen and be with me no matter what the conversation brings.</div>
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There is nothing I want more than what he already gives. Each day is a gift to have each other; to lean on, to listen, to be with in those insignificant moments that bring strength, comfort and security without us knowing. </div>
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I cherish every dull and exciting moment with him. We have become hermits, satisfied in our love for each other. We are very out of touch with the real world these days, but never more in touch with each other. We are no longer ok when a week goes by without having a moment to ourselves. I love that. There is nothing I want to experience without him. He proves to me time and time again that I am valuable. Even when I'm not so pleasant, attractive or charming, his interest in me never wavers. He takes me for all that I am and loves me in spite of all that I'm not. And I love him all the same. </div>
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_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _</div>
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So my love. . . on the days you wish you could do more, please remember: I would much rather you than anything money could buy - or the surprises that could be. I trust and respect you more than anyone in this world. Any adventure we may take in the future does not make us "more" - the goodness we share in every day life is already as good as it gets - and it's wonderful.</div>
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Even in our differences we have the freedom to be ourselves. There is no pressure to be anyone different. <i>That</i> is the greatest gift of all. I love you Ben. YOU are the greatest gift.</div>
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Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-42049767489002946992014-01-06T06:59:00.001-05:002014-01-06T08:01:27.478-05:00Let it be enough<div style="text-align: left;">
Whatever comes from the heart, let it be enough. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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Someone will always package a similar gesture in a prettier box. It's inevitable. Rest in who you are and the extensions from you. No one can do what you do in the way you do it. It may not be the loudest or the prettiest - but it is original, authentic.<br />
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At the end of the day when glamour fades, authenticity remains.<br />
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#nurturecalls</div>
Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-70260591824363078152013-12-20T07:51:00.000-05:002014-01-06T11:13:03.458-05:00the marriage struggle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDnjjOXh1u3wfTKc6jByCjhsO-H2SCdW9TbsP6VUb-sZX1x9el4ZYqL-7ka2adU0ylnuAdzg6cXDcBfczXYt9ZrRcwqlKWicZprMe8pvn1XkEm1fWd1sOCZPRjjfUBa5V4q2i9h4ei8t0/s1600/blackness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDnjjOXh1u3wfTKc6jByCjhsO-H2SCdW9TbsP6VUb-sZX1x9el4ZYqL-7ka2adU0ylnuAdzg6cXDcBfczXYt9ZrRcwqlKWicZprMe8pvn1XkEm1fWd1sOCZPRjjfUBa5V4q2i9h4ei8t0/s1600/blackness.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
It's black.<br />
For a reason.<br />
No picture could contain -<br />
we lived a week separate from each other, once again.<br />
<br />
Craving love,<br />
Understanding,<br />
A warm greeting that was true.<br />
No other opinion do I hold so dear, in my heart, than what comes from you.<br />
<br />
I bitch.<br />
I scold.<br />
I affirm a lie<br />
That anyone is more important than you in my life.<br />
<br />
Not one.<br />
Not my mothers, my fathers or child.<br />
It's you.<br />
Only you, I hope to come alive.<br />
<br />
In this knowing,<br />
Ever-loving,<br />
the person I have become.<br />
For you chose me<br />
You chose me<br />
To be the one.<br />
<br />
All this hopeless<br />
In wondering<br />
if you'd choose me again.<br />
You chose me<br />
You chose me<br />
To be your cover.<br />
<br />
And I choose you.<br />
I choose you.<br />
Every day<br />
You're my lover.<br />
<br />
I'd choose you,<br />
I'd choose you,<br />
again and again.<br />
<br />
I'd choose you,<br />
I'd choose you,<br />
again and again.<br />
<br />
copyright Kaley Kiewiet<br />
#nurturecallsNurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2067031146350012098.post-26768554343866610962013-11-01T13:10:00.000-04:002019-04-09T10:22:19.991-04:00A mind of her own, and obstinateIt appears that my 3 year old daughter needs to learn the boundaries of how to speak and act. Over the last few weeks it has gotten drastically worse. After all, she did just turn three! There is no doubt that we have a very strong-willed child on our hands. If you say go, she'll say stop. If you say yes, she'll say no. If you suggest anything, she will trump you and demand something different. If you ask "would you like something" or "would you like to do" if it wasn't her idea first she will kill it without hesitation. It doesn't matter how kind you are. She is not impressed. It has to be her way, her idea and <i>always</i> in her time. If you dare to go against this, there is hell to pay; with flailing about, screaming, hitting, you name it. We call this; Gremlin Girl (not to her of course). Obstinance in full-fold.<br />
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Well, that's not going to sit well in this household sister. Sorry. You don't get to treat me or anyone disrespectfully with that kind of detest or obstinance. I love you too much to let you act like this. So! Homebound we are for a few days (maybe weeks) as we make it very clear that this kind of behavior is not acceptable.<br />
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Why homebound? I have always been apprehensive of giving children a "1- 2 -3" until they shape up. I think a parent should be taken seriously the second they speak. Three kids later, I've done a pretty good job keeping consistent, remaining calm and stern (usually), but three kids later: it has become a struggle! My girl is keeping me on my toes! Every second she is awake there is an issue we have to work through. <i>"Mom!! I DON'T want that spoon!"</i>/ <i>"I said I wanted too much!!!" </i>(her way in saying 'more') / <i>"I will NOT do that"</i> / <i>"You come here right NOW!"</i> (yes, speaking to me) / <i>"I will NOT eat this!"</i> (sliding the bowl across the table, then crossing her arms in disgust). Yeah, that's what I'm dealing with. I've lost it several times, and about lost it many times more. I have felt hopeless & anxious dealing with one scenario after another. The fight never stops.<br />
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Because I don't want to draw too much attention to the negative I've been ignoring (or trying to) some of the bad behavior so not to flip a lid - for her sake and for mine. But it's kind of hard to ignore. And ignoring. . .really!? Like I don't see how you're acting? Am I just going to ignore it and let you get away with destructive behavior and a nasty attitude? I don't think so.<br />
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Lately my husband and I have been questioning our parenting techniques (if you call it that). We have become reactive parents and in our insecurity have been at odds with each other when dealing with our kids. What it came down to is, neither one of us knew what to do. Thankfully we came together. Because of this, there is a higher level of respect and appreciation from our kids.<br />
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A consequence in our house is a wooden spoon to the butt. But not always. It is used to correct direct defiance or unruly behavior. Ideally with a calm, stern approach followed by "I'm so sorry you made that choice, it makes me sad to have to give you a spanking." One stinging swat. Same strength. Followed by a hug. "I hope you make a better choice next time." With our strong-willed girl, this happens about every 5 minutes. But it is happening less and less as she's realizing "Mama" and "Dada" are serious and consistent. Hence, being homebound for a few days. This sort of discipline doesn't set well with the world today. Though, I do bring the spoon with us every where we go because I don't want her to think she is off the hook. She understands that until we see better behavior from her, she doesn't get to go on playdates, enjoy library time, shopping, etc. This is a big deal to our independent girl.<br />
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Let me explain why we use the wooden spoon. I once read that hands are for blessing. I love that and want to keep it that way. I don't want loose hands when it comes to disciplining my kids. It is far too easy to let anger get the best of me. A spanking done in anger can do far worse damage than what is intended. When I have to fetch the spoon, it keeps my temper in check. I am less likely to be caught in an emotional uproar when I have a few extra seconds to think before I act.<br />
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My dad just pointed out the other day that we have adopted the 1-2-3 theory without realizing it, only using different words. "Adelle, please don't do that again or there will be a consequence." We follow through with the consequence after giving her a warning, and then remind her of the warning, instead of giving her the opportunity to take us seriously the second we speak.<br />
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For the last few days we have been parenting in the way that we used to - which means more work. With a strong-willed child that means a <i>lot</i> more work. But there is no easy way around parenting so we might as well nip bad behavior in the butt, and stay consistent. Day three, and we are already seeing progress. It has not been without a major fight on her end, but we have remained calm, and reminded her that the choice is hers. The consequence will either be good or bad.<br />
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We are all different parents, and with very different kids, so I am not saying that we should all spank (nor do I presume that my opinion matters to you). My husband and I have been back and forth with time-outs, consequences, rewards, etc., and nothing gets her attention more promptly than a spanking. With any consequence there has to be a "sting" so that they think twice before doing it again. Rewards are also good. But seriously, I can't give the girl a candy bar every time she does something right. And sometimes the reward of making good choices is simply the joy in the moment of choosing well! That should be good enough. It is so easy to spoil our children in today's society.<br />
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It is said that the best kind of parenting is Authoritative Parenting. I agree with this. Children are individuals. Their actions will get a response. The response will either be positive or negative. We need to equip them with the right tools to be successful. If they make negative choices, they will get negative results. If they choose right, they will get positive results. The choice is theirs! <i>We have to be careful not to withhold discipline for fear that we draw too much attention to the negative.</i><br />
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Some key points to practicing good discipline:<br />
<ul>
<li>Your child should understand why they are being punished.</li>
<li>Follow through consistently without an emotional rise</li>
<li>Keep a strong commitment to establishing & communicating boundaries </li>
<li>Give children the power to choose right from wrong (both have consequences)</li>
<li>Keep your temper in check</li>
<li>You are going to make mistakes. It's ok! Acknowledge when you are wrong, and continue with the plan of discipline. "I'm sorry," is best learned when modeled yourself.</li>
<li>Get on the same page with your spouse. You equally need support, accountability & affirmation. Being a part of a team is far better than being alone.</li>
</ul>
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Sometimes all the difference in the world is the way we view parenting. Is it an inconvenience when our children act out, or do we see this as an opportunity to teach? Our view could change the way we parent. </div>
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I am in the thick of dealing with a defiant child. I have made many mistakes, will continue to do so, but the mistakes will be few and far in between staying consistent and keeping strong. </div>
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Hope this helps someone out there. It has really helped me. And it's a good reminder for those of us who have multiple kids. Life can be so crazy and out of control at times.</div>
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#nurturecalls</div>
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Nurture Callshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13119964281874046705noreply@blogger.com12