I remember not long ago
feeling like you feel,
watching Mom and Dad be busy
with everything but me.
I didn't understand
why I wasn't good enough.
They tried to explain
but it simply wasn't enough.
I remember thinking "one day when I'm Mom
I'll make time like they didn't for me"
But motherhood has come and now
responsibility made it's plea.
Some things in life are misunderstood
until you're all grown up.
I'm stuck between being all for you
~ and being all for me too.
Wish so much I could give to you
all my time, focus and drive.
It simply is not possible
to be all I had hoped to be.
Little did I know at your age
and still, little do I know.
I see where I want to be
but often life drums another beat.
Some things in life we cannot control,
including part of who we are.
We can improve in big and little ways
but in the end we are who we are.
If only I understood
what I understand now,
I would look at my Mom differently
and love in spite of me.
Sweet child, there is so much
I would give you if I could;
spend time, play, and goof
instead of daunting chores and work.
I am burdened every day
when I see your little face;
Inquiring, asking, pleading for
Me to make you space.
Please know it kills to disappoint,
to choose anything but you.
I am trying with my very best
to help you through and through.
In all the ways I love you dear
there will always be,
a hiccup in my love for you
~ I'm human as you'll see.
Please forgive the ways I hurt,
for the ways I don't understand.
The one thing I can promise
is that you'll always have my hand.
To guide, to play,
to help along
To hug, to love
to teach you on.
For all the ways I let you down
~ please forgive me.
And try to see all the good,
for I love you endlessly.
A recent photo of my kids. . .
From the left: Liam, Everett & Adelle