My gosh. Here I sit on flylady.net ready to tackle my issues with high hopes of becoming more efficient (if you haven't visited this site before you may want to). It went from a serious high in motivation to breaking out in a sweat as the realization of how far I am from efficient sets in. Now I sit burdened by the task that was suppose to help me!
Where to start?! Now THAT is the question. It is so hard to prioritize in a world where distraction is at our finger tips. Where distraction and organization now fall in the same place: The Smart Phone. Ugh. I think it's a very dumb phone if you ask me.
I strongly desire simplicity. Where paper and pencil were the first things you picked up. But now I'm engaged in this world of functioning (dysfunction) and I can't imagine living without it. . .yet I want it gone!!! My smart phone really doesn't alleviate much paper like I thought it would. It clutters my mind and heart with so much happening in the lives of people who are not connected to me on a daily basis! We've gotten used to having to know each detail about our friends and family through media that the convenience factor makes us wonder if our friends sincerely care - or if I sincerely cared before it was "top news!"
God help me (us). When anxiety hits even the smallest step becomes a war zone. It's paralyzing. And the only thing I can control when I am in this paralyzed state is picking my toes and biting my nails. Nice.
Here's a few things that help me when anxiety/panic hits:
-Get up and go far from the place where anxiety came!
-Go to a place where peace and happiness are found instantly
-Fix my eyes on the priority (my priority will always have two eyes and a heart)
-Engage in a way that will make me laugh
I've learned the last thing to do when anxiety takes over is to fix my mind on what I should do. You know that hole I dug for myself!? Yeah, look for the "should" and keep diggin!
It only takes a moment of engaging in what I get to do and then what I should do doesn't seem so bad anymore. Thankful one of my happy places is with my kids outside, and today just happens to be beautiful. I'll try that efficient thing again later when I feel empowered by what sustains my happy state.
*note: happiness usually causes someone else the same result
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~ a memoir of motherhood and life