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Monday, January 6, 2014

The great man next to me

He is often saddened that he cannot provide more for me. More in the sense of money, experiences. . .things. . .

What he provides for me far outweighs anything that is seen. No one gets to applaud him for it as it's done in secret, every single day. It is his time - his attentiveness to my emotional status. Each day he lays next to me, weary, yet thankful for a full day of work and little play. If I'm sad or excited about something he will sit, listen and be with me no matter what the conversation brings.

There is nothing I want more than what he already gives. Each day is a gift to have each other; to lean on, to listen, to be with in those insignificant moments that bring strength, comfort and security without us knowing. 

I cherish every dull and exciting moment with him. We have become hermits, satisfied in our love for each other. We are very out of touch with the real world these days, but never more in touch with each other. We are no longer ok when a week goes by without having a moment to ourselves. I love that. There is nothing I want to experience without him. He proves to me time and time again that I am valuable. Even when I'm not so pleasant, attractive or charming, his interest in me never wavers. He takes me for all that I am and loves me in spite of all that I'm not. And I love him all the same. 

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So my love. . . on the days you wish you could do more, please remember: I would much rather you than anything money could buy - or the surprises that could be. I trust and respect you more than anyone in this world. Any adventure we may take in the future does not make us "more" - the goodness we share in every day life is already as good as it gets - and it's wonderful.

Even in our differences we have the freedom to be ourselves. There is no pressure to be anyone different. That is the greatest gift of all. I love you Ben. YOU are the greatest gift.

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~ a memoir of motherhood and life