I write this after an exhausting week of sickness in our home. Sick and weary Mommy and Daddy taking care of 3 sick kids and a nursing babe; whose needs have sucked us dry. We have survived a very hard week; stripped of sleep... stripped of any affirmation that would say "thank you, you are doing a good job". . .stripped of laughter and that sense of happiness...
We have survived.
In these moments, everything seems a little darker. "Seems" is key. The truth in my mind has me weigh in on all the ways I am not wanted or that I am not good enough. In these moments, truth has to be sought outside of myself. Sometimes it comes from an encouraging friend or family member. But sometimes it doesn't come - and sometimes the darker corners of truth are highlighted when someone I love is insulting, or is simply absent on a daily basis.
It is in these moments I cling to the truth of my Creator, Who knows me inside and out, while hoping to be reminded by those I love, that I am wanted... no matter what.
I hope to be wanted in every day - when it looks messy or when nothing "special" is happening. I hope to be thought of in the mundane; when for no other reason than the thought of me, caused them to reach out.
I write, because we ALL want this.
It is so important for family to come along side each other equally when it's good and bad. If we give too much attention when things go wrong, or only when things go well, we make the person feel out of balance in our support. It starts to feel conditional. Unconsciously the person ends up striving for approval in the less affirmed areas.
Relationship should be a beautiful balance adjusting to the cycle of life. It is the sun and clouds enhancing in nature what is needed to survive. Relationship is fluid. It moves with the seasons of hardship and grief and flows toward hope and happiness.
We are all needed in our intimate circles of family and friends through every difficult, wonderful, and mundane happening.
I desire this for myself. I desire this for you. I desire this greatest for my husband and kids. God desires it equally for all.
"God. . .
Help us to walk in balance with You and with each other. Impress upon us the beautiful balance of relationship You created for family and friendship. What does this look like day to day for each of us? Help us to discern who's "bucket to fill". Give us strength to see outside of our own needs to make choices for the greater good. Help us tune in to the lives before us, in arms length, who need to be reminded that they are wanted.
Please speak to us.
We are listening."
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~ a memoir of motherhood and life